Sunday, January 2, 2011

The New Year.

I want to say something profound about the New Year - the clean slate, the blank canvas, all that - but this year it doesn't seem quite the same to me.

My life has changed in so many positive ways over the past year and I am simply hoping that the pattern continues.  That I can love more and give more and worry less and grow more and commit to less things I have no real interest in doing - get rid of more guilt - put more energy into friendships.

There is an exercise that I'll be doing maybe tonight on the blog I've been writing about my family and our life together , but I don't think it belongs here.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my blogging habit.  There was a time when words flowed out of me on this blog as thought they would never stop, and lately, maybe appropriately, my interests have moved to the blog about my life with my family.  They have become a part of me.  The rhythm of our household is the rhythm of my life in many ways.

I don't think I'll be closing this blog - inspiration here comes in ebbs and flows and there has been too much effort expended to just close something like this.

There is always more to learn- and I'm a late bloomer when it comes to figuring out what it means to be a woman.  What it means to me.  How to balance my self with my family and my friends and my artistic interests.  It's always a struggle.

More than anything I am trying to re-compartmentalize where I do my writing and about what.  Sometimes it seems it would be much easier to consolidate everything onto the family blog - but this has always been my space.  My space to think things through and rant about things and I don't know - there would be a part of me that left with it, if I closed it out all together.  So, as a writer, I've been struggling.

This afternoon I am going to a reading of Dear John, I Love Jane at the local used book store.  The author is a friend of mine who will be reading her portion of the book and signing copies at the store.  I'm attending with a few former students - who are now simply GOOD friends.  I invited them after a great night hanging out at the local Panera Bread and learning to knit.

I'm sure there will be questions from some of my readers about how I feel about sexuality and whatnot as a result of my going to this particular reading and inviting others.  The things is this - however I feel about anyone's sexuality, someone I know personally had significant involvement in writing a book that is now published and doing quite well, and that is a fantastic accomplishment.  Period.  Supporting other artists in this community is vitally important to me.  I don't care who they choose to love.  I want to support that they write, or paint, or play music.  And I want to show love for my friends.  I think supporting a friend and arts in the community, hanging out at the local used bookshop with a shop owner who is living out his dream, sitting next to young women who have taught ME so much, sharing drinks and dreams and then heading over to The Refinery (my church community) for the Stars Service is an amazing way to spend a day.

Speaking of stars, I have a lot of anticipation about this service.  The past three years have in turn taught me about peace, kindness, and love - so much more and in so many more ways than I could have ever believed or imagined when I drew my small star from the basket at The Refinery.  What will this year bring?


Summer said...

Bring on the friendship energy!

BTW- I still have an owed bday lunch/dinner/linner/brunch

Missy said...

I KNOW this! GAH! I will have money the 14th. lol

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