Thursday, September 30, 2010

Speaking of facing things head on...

God has been talking to me lately.

It's been loud.  It's been clear.  There have been MESSAGES.

I have been encountering lessons left and right.

All of them are about conflict.  All of them are about honesty.

These are things with which I have always struggled.

I spoke in my previous blog about conflict.

The honesty thing is a defense mechanism that I developed who knows how long ago.

If I'm afraid that someone might be angry with me, I make something up to assuage the perceived possibility of anger.

I don't think about it.  I don't plan it (most of the time).  The lies just come out.

This was happening so frequently a few years ago that I decided I needed to fix it somehow.

It was out of control.  I wasn't deciding when lies were "appropriate" anymore.  I was just telling them.  To people who loved me unconditionally.  To friends.  To family.  Just everyone.

I decided that I would change my habit.

Now, as often as I am aware of telling a lie or half-truth, I force myself to tell the person that I lied to them.  I write them an email, I call them, I speak to them in person - whatever.  Even if it's small.  Big lies.  Small lies.  Everything.  I fess up.

It's HARD.

And you know what else?

While it is lessening my lying, it hasn't STOPPED the lies.

It is taking all of these lessons that God keeps handing me to truly make me understand what running away or making up a story does to the people around me.  The people I care about so much more than my self.

This blog was especially poignant today, considering.  Just one more message from The Almighty.  Just one more hand-hold as I climb out of this hold I've dug for myself over the years. 

The truth WILL set you free.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...