Monday, May 17, 2010

Letter to a Young Girl.

Dear _________,

I am writing because I was told something about you.  I don't want to say that anyone around me is a gossip, because they are not.  I just want you to know that I know how it feels, and I want to say, that you don't have to keep doing what you're doing.

I remember when I was your age.  I thought I knew everything.  I believed so many lies.  I thought that all the hot guys just wanted sex, and if I wanted a hot guy, I'd have to put out eventually.  I dated a boy who told me if we hadn't had sex in six months the relationship was over.  That was when I was fourteen.  I'm sure that your freshman year seems like eons in the past, but these are the times in your life that will be etched into your memory forever - bright and sometimes glaring memories of choices you made in your youth that will forever affect your heart and soul.

I've been told that you don't care about any of that.  That sex to you is meaningless.  You just do it for fun.

It's an easy thing to say and work to make yourself believe.  Lots of us get there - to that point where we believe it - but when we look back on our partners, however many there may be - nameless or faceless - they all own a part of us now.  And it's something that is so true it burns inside.

Perhaps you have completely bought into the lie that it IS meaningless.  If that's the case, then it's important for you to look back on the first time.  Was it meaningless then?  Did you even want to do it?  Were you afraid?  Did he hurt you?  Or was it someone you loved deeply - you thought they loved you - you thought this was going to be forever?  Maybe not - you had no thoughts about the future - you just wanted the assurance that someone loved you RIGHT NOW.  Or at least lusted enough to want to be with you completely in that moment.

I guess the whole reason for me writing is because I care about you so much.  You are truly beautiful.  Talented, good looking, intelligent.  You deserve more than just the occasional roll in the hay with some boy who might not give you the time of day tomorrow, or who will talk about you like some warrior conquering a city, or refer to you as a tramp because you gave it up so easily.

Sex does mean something.  It's the most complete physical union possible between two people.  It is the way we create new life.

Spirituality aside.  Sex is emotional.  Sex is physical, mental - you have to give up something of yourself to have sex, and even more of yourself to enjoy it.

A shame to be comfortably numb.

A shame to miss out on the beauty behind the action.

I don't know what happened to you in the past.  I don't know what you are thinking or how you are feeling but I know that there is pain when someone you've given something so important to treats it like it doesn't matter.  When he treats it like a business deal.  You can pretend that it feels the same to you, but it would just be a lie.  And you know what?  He's lying too.

There was a day in all our lives when we were innocent children.  When we believed in the reality of princes and princesses and knights in shining armor.  A time when all of us women believed we could be the princess, and all the boys believed they could be the knight.

In this crazy world we lose that somewhere along the way.  We make a mistake or we are hurt by someone or someone takes our innocence from us by force.  But inside we are always the princess wishing for the knight.

It is my prayer that soon, your tears will be wiped away and you will find the one who treats you like the princess you are.

- R.J.


Toreador, aka Kerry Jones said...

Well said... I will have my daughters read this. Thank you.

Steve Finnell said...

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